


Give me the World

by Tchell1



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is bad at feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 06:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6555928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tchell1/pseuds/Tchell1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Alec saw Magnus, he didn’t actually pay attention to him. Magnus was a warlock and Alec had been taught not to thrust them. So, the only thought that crossed Alec’s mind was 'that is one flashy warlock'. And he really thought that would be the last he would hear about Magnus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give me the World

**Author's Note:**

> I have not read the books. I'm just playing around with the relationships the show offered us.

The first time Alec saw Magnus, he didn’t actually pay attention to him. Magnus was a warlock and Alec had been taught not to thrust them. So, the only thought that crossed Alec’s mind was _that is one flashy warlock_. And he really thought that would be the last he would hear about Magnus.

On his second meeting with Magnus, Alec actually payed attention to him. That, Alec figures, was when things started. Magnus was larger them life. He moved and talked with grace and so much fluidity and he was so unashamed of showing who he really was. Alec found himself being captivated without even realizing it.

Afterwards, when everything was said and done, Alec would remember these first moments and laugh because we was conquered even before the battle had even began.

With no experience in feeling attraction for someone who actually felt attracted to him back, Alec had no idea what he was supposed to do. He stammered and stumbled and gave rude answers and made himself look like a fool. Through it all, Magnus would watch him with a fond smile; those eyes adorned with eyeliner would sparkle in delight.

In Alec’s mind, Magnus was this amazing person, full of magic and full of life, that enjoyed having a good time and for some reason, liked Alec’s company. Maguns was also a downworlder and a very tricky one. He would charge for helping friends with his powers and did not miss any opportunity to make shadowhunters uncomfortable. There was no way both sides of Magnus were correct.

They were, of course correct, but at the time, Alec did not know that.

Magnus was also male. He did not hide from anyone his preferences and did not care that shadowhunters were judging him. He was bisexual and did not owe anyone an explanation for his acts. That notion, of course, as not shared by most of the Institute staff. If there was anyone that would personify all things contrary to the conservative view of the institute, it was Magnus Bane. Alec could not decide if he was mortified or delighted with this fact.

Magnus would arrive at the institute, exhibiting his amazing magic around, helping whoever called him and throwing a few commentaries about Jace’s inability to hold deep conversations. But, in a blink of an eye, the larger than life person would disappear and in his place, would be only Magnus; beautiful and amazing and so lovely, looking at Alec and calling him _by his full name_. Alec did not know how to react.

He would respond with blunt remarks, fleeing the place, full of frustration and anger because Magnus was amazing and Alec was attracted to him and family and honor came first. Magnus made him feel things he had never felt. He had never questioned his family’s way.

He would forever be at Jace’s side and not get what he wanted. That’s how his life would go.

And Magnus, amazing and spectacular Magnus, without Alec realizing, guided him into thinking he actually deserved to be happy and have what he wanted. That was the cleverness and the sadness of Magnus; he guided Alec all the way into this possibility, but he did not push him through. Alec was the one that had to make the choice.

When Alec sent every conservative notion of family and duty to the wind and embraced all his feelings for Magnus, kissing him in front of everyone and thinking _fuck you all, I get to decide what is important to me_ , all he felt was the adrenaline rush of finally tasting Magnus lips. Latter, Alec finally put two and two together and got the whole picture: Magnus, greatest warlock of Brooklyn, made himself vulnerable in front of the entire institute and if Alec had not chosen him, Magnus would have done nothing except to accept Alec decision.

That was the first shock. Alec analyzed back all his interactions with Magnus and was flabbergasted when he noticed the pattern. Magnus would show his indestructible and powerful persona to everyone but he would only show Alec his fond eyes and his small smile. An irrational irritation took over Alec, because, how carless could Magnus be with his own heart if he would offer it to Alec so casually? Alec was always the slightly wrong Lightwood; he could barely face his own feelings; Magnus had to know Alec would end up hurting him.

When Alec finally reunited enough courage to talk to Magnus about their relationship trying to warm the warlock about the imminent disaster, Magnus gave him an indulgent smile. “You worry too much, Alexander. I can handle the shadow hunter’s bigotry. I’ve been doing it for centuries, you know.” He had said and kissed Alec in the mouth, effectively distracting him.

For a while, Alec could not help but wait for the other shoe to drop. He would deliberately place himself in front of his parents and wait for the comments; he would initiate arguments for the sole purpose of hearing all the angry words the institute instigated. He tried to drag Lydia into it but one sad look from her had him stop and apologizing quicker than any other. If anything else, Alec was so glad Lydia turned to be as amazing as he had thought she was.

And while Alec was waiting to see if all his attempts do undermine his relationship would actually concretize, his mother restrained herself from making rude remarks about Magnus e most of the Shadow hunters did not openly disapprove. Magnus laughed loud when Alec confided in him about his concerns e told him that as long as Magnus was in charge, nothing bad was going to happen to Alec.

And so, Alec, started to relax back. Izzy, as always was at his side and whenever the pressure and the anxiety got to be too much, he would confide in her. Izzy was the best women Alec knew, she was extremely wise for her age and all the inner prejudice Alec had to struggle to conquer, in her, it was no problem at all. Izzy had no problem identifying the institute’s bigotry.

Now, with Clary on the picture, Izzy seemed to grow even more, Valantine’s daughter was a revolutionary and she was taking Izzy with her for the ride. In exchange, Izzy was presenting all the amazing things the shadow world had. Jace, bless his heart, was so bad at presenting their world trough colorful lens; like Alec, he was too jaded to appreciate all the beauty.

Magnus started showing up more and more at the institute, still with the larger than life attitude and the arrogance that he was so fond of showing. Alec could not help but smile besotted while Jace struggled not to shout at Magnus. Every time Magnus met Alec’s parents, he would talk to them. Maryse and Robert would always be polite, if not welcoming. It was more than Alec had hoped.

And, then, a few months later, finally, the shoe dropped and its victims were the last person Alec wanted to be hurt.

It started one afternoon; when Magnus came to the institute do add some wards into its doors. Alec, as usual when Magnus appeared, instantly went to him. Izzy, however, took a moment, her eyes narrowed, looking Magnus up and down.

“There is something different with you.” She said instead of ‘Hi’.

Magnus snorted, annoyed.

“There most certainly is.” He replied back “I haven’t had the time to change clothes. This dull blue does not suit me at all.”

And now that Magnus had mentioned it, Alec could see that the blouse Magnus was wearing was nowhere near as extravagant as his usual ones. The color did not favor Magnus at all and Alec actually had though this wasn’t possible.

“It really doesn’t” Izzy said.

“Not to worry, lovely!” Magnus replied with this usual energy, his hands flying everywhere “I’ll make sure it does not happen again”

The thing is. It kept happening. Magnus showed up next without any rings on his hands; there had been an accident involving Chairman Meow, Magnus had said. Next, he showed up without any colorful strings in his hair; when asked, he told Clary he was trying a new hair style. He then, conveniently asked Alec if he could borrow one of Alec’s shirts, Alec was all for Magnus wearing his clothes, it just had the additional effect of being extremely large.

And Alec did not know what was going on, but he recognized the pattern. Magnus was slowly and steadily stripping himself out of everything that made him blatantly controversial. Alec confirmed this when he heard Magnus enduring Maryse’s monologue about how the downworlders were a terrible but necessary inconvenience and did not say anything back. In fact, he had both hands fisted behind his back and Alec could see a slight tremble on them, but on his face, Magnus had a pleasant smile.

Something snapped on Alec. He strode towards Maguns and Maryse and, with a cold smile on his face, excused Magnus from the conversation and took him away from his mother. Only then did Alec look at Magnus and saw a very pretty pair of eyes barren of any eyeliner.

Shocked, Alec took Magnus to his room and locked the door.

“What the hell, Magnus! What’s going on?”

Magnus looked at Alec as if Alec was crazy.

“What you mean ‘what’s going on’? I should be the one to ask you that! I was just talking to your mom, Alec! I though you would appreciate the effort!” Magnus said crossing his arms.

Alec had the distinct feeling his heart tried to leave his chest.

“Is that what this is about? Is this you making an effort?”

“Alexander, I guarantee you I have no idea what you are talking about.” Magnus said, but Alec could see his eyes switching everywhere.

Alec closed his eyes and count to three.

“Where are your rings, love?” Alec asked softly. Magnus eyes grew. “Where are your colorful shirts? Why did you let your hair down?”

Magnus laughed sadly, uncrossed his arms and sat at Alec’s bed.

“They are at home.”

And Alec did not want to ask, but at this point, he had no alternative.

“And why are they at home?” Alec forced himself to say.

Magnus looked at him with eyes filled with sorrow.

“Why do you think, darling?”

Alec’s heart broke a little. He sat beside Magnus at the bed, reaching to him and kissing his lovely month.

“You don’t have to change for me, my love.” Alec whispered to him “Don’t do that.”

Magnus kissed him back, very softly and full of longing.

‘You don’t know what you do to me, Alexander. I’d rather change all my clothes and all my life style than lose you.”

Alec knew something like this was coming. He was not allowed to have nice things. The price he would pay for getting Magnus was to have his larger than life warlock be contained on an appropriate shadow hunter model.

“Please, don’t do this.” Alec begged. “Please, don’t become something you are not.”

Magnus laid his head on Alec’s lap, Alec could not help but wonder if that was Magnus way of not looking into his eyes.

“What I am is in love with you. I can take everything else if you are with me.” Magnus whispered.

Alec started caressing Magnus hair; his vision had become blurred with the tears that were filling his eyes.

“You don’t have to ‘take’ anything. I do not require you to change. I love you the way you are: extravagant, enigmatic; larger than life”

Magnus snorted and Alec could feel his lap becoming wet. Magnus was crying and it was all Alec’s fault.

“Your family and your colleagues would never accept me the way I am.”

The same adrenaline that had taken over Alec the day he first kissed Magnus took him again. Alec felt the frustration and anger rising.

“Fuck them, Magnus. Fuck all of them and their cruelty.” Alec heard himself say with enough ferocity to make Magnus look up at him “I will not allow you to become something you are not just because they cannot accept what is different” Alec lowered his head and again took Magnus month on an angry kiss “Fuck. All. Of. Them.”

Magnus, still dazed from the kiss and the avalanche of feelings Alec threw on him, took a few seconds to digest Alec’s words.

Alec’s heart was breaking bit by bit. How could he not have realized what Magnus was attempting to do? Magnus was again sacrificing himself for Alec, to make sure Alec was comfortable and happy.

“You are so stupid, Magnus.” Alec said frustrated while Magnus was still silently staring at Alec “I do not want a proper version of you. If I wanted the make believe version, I would have stayed with Lydia.” Alec dried Magnus eyes, cleaning the tear track on his cheeks “I want you in all you warlock glory, with yellow eyes, black eyeliner, sparkly ring and all of it wrapped up with the confidence and exuberance you have.”

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Do not say things like that- do not offer- I love you, Alexander, that is no secret, but I can adapt.”

Alec smiled wildly.

“I cannot. I won’t settle for proper when I can have everything.” Alec said “And you should not either.”

Magnus again took some time to think. Alec could only watch him, this alien version of the person he loved.

“You cannot guide me all the way to happiness just to take it away from me, Magnus.” Alec said with a fond smile.

Alec saw Magnus’ face break into a grin and suddenly, Magnus raised himself again and snapped his fingers. The eyeliner came back, the rings reappeared, the terrible shirt was replaced by a golden one with a very deep cleavage. Magnus gave Alec a sardonic smile and all Alec could think was _thank the angel we are already in a bed_ , because when those yellow eyes looked back at Alec all he could do was lay Magnus back and cover him with his whole body while kissing him.


End file.
